In this video, former FBI behavior expert Joe Navarro breaks down how to identify and protect yourself from pervasively emotionally unstable individuals.   Here is a summary of the important points, what you can learn from them, and how you can apply these insights to your daily life.   Important Points Summary   - The "Eggshell" Dynamic: Living or working with an emotionally unstable person causes severe anxiety. Those around them constantly walk on eggshells, wondering whether they will wake up to love or volcanic hostility [00:43].   - Psychological Splitting: These individuals lack a middle ground—they view life, events, and people in extremes of "all good" or "all bad" [11:04]. They may love-bomb and idealize you instantly, only to harshly devalue and mistreat you the next moment over minor issues [08:20], [11:51].   - Manipulation Through Crisis: They frequently manufacture crises and use self-harm or threats of suicide as a toxic tool to manipulate others, force attention, and prevent people from leaving them due to a deep, frantic fear of abandonment [03:51], [23:05].   - Impulsivity and Escalation: They struggle with a chronic sense of emptiness, often leading to impulsive behaviors like gambling, substance abuse, reckless driving, or physical outbursts (throwing things, hitting walls) [14:55], [26:19].    What You Can Learn from It   - You Cannot Fix Them: Emotionally unstable people require serious, long-term psychiatric or clinical care [02:03]. You cannot love, coddle, or reason them out of their behavior; attempting to act as their "caretaker" or "cheerleader" will only drain you emotionally [13:41].   - Behavior Tells the Truth: Do not ignore or dismiss patterns of volatility [06:03]. If someone has a lifetime pattern (often since teenage years) of extreme relationship rollercoasters, intense anger over tiny mistakes, or deceptive behavior, that is who they are [07:07], [25:35].   How to Apply This in Your Daily Life   1. Call the Bluff on Serious Threats (Establish Firm Boundaries) If someone threatens to hurt themselves or commit suicide to manipulate your actions or stop you from leaving, immediately call local emergency services (911, 999, etc.) [04:11]. Navarro notes this does two things: it guarantees they get the professional crisis help they might actually need, and it signals that you refuse to be an "emotional chew toy" for their manipulation [16:52].   2. Distance Yourself and Cease Being the Caretaker If you have tried helping someone for a long period and it continues to severely impact your psychological well-being, realize you must put your safety first [19:03]. Stop stepping into arguments that are dragged out for hours or days; choose to disengage and physically distance yourself from the volatility [20:54], [21:32].   3. Document and Report in the Workplace If you are dealing with an emotionally unstable boss or colleague who throws adult tantrums or creates a toxic environment, do not ignore it [20:01]. Document their behaviors objectively and take the proof to Human Resources or higher management [34:41]. If leadership fails to protect the environment, evaluate how long you can safely tolerate staying there [34:50].   4. Seek Therapy for Past Exposure If you grew up with a parent or caregiver like this, you may carry deep-seated trust issues or hyper-vigilance [31:50]. Consider seeking professional counseling to unpack the long-term trauma of growing up in an unpredictable environment [34:17].  

i have nv thought of putting on for the back drain  

Agree.   But I prefer Sam Johnstone, meets HG registration rules for UCL

He is out of contract now. Onana loan back to Turkey. Carrick should consider! @noobmaster