If You Think Eating Shit is Wrong, Then You Are a Bad Person

beautifuldays · November 2, 2019

What does it mean to love? And why shouldn’t everyone be allowed to let those sparks warm their heart? I thought I felt this way. I thought that I could hear anyone’s desire and immediately accept that what they wanted from another person would be considered valid. But I was wrong. It turned out that I was just as bad as any republican.

I met them on yik yak while probing into the seedy underbelly of the anonymous sex world. I wanted to find out why this was such a pervasive desire. I also wanted to get laid. But when I met them I felt I had struck a gold mine. They messaged me on kik, with the username toiletmouth, and they wanted to have someone shit in their mouth.

I was baffled by the thought that someone in our community could have the hunger, I asked myself, how did this hit our hometown? Why us?! Is it this pervasive liberalism that has diseased the community? I felt religion flooding back into my skin and knew that the rapture had come. But I was wrong.

There was only ever one scene in a novel that was so vile for me that I almost couldn’t make it through it. It was in Gravity’s Rainbow,

“She turns, ‘Hold up my fur.’ . . . ‘Be careful, don’t touch my skin.’ Her intestines whine softly . . . A dark turd appears out the crevice, out of the absolute darkness between her white buttocks . . . he leans forward to surround the hot turd with his lips, sucking on it tenderly, licking along its lower side . . . The stink of shit floods his nose, gathering him, surrounding. . . The turd slides into his mouth, down to his gullet. He gags, but bravely clamps his teeth shut.”

I could feel it, I could smell it, and I had to escape it. The turd mixed with the slime of my throat and vomit building in pressure against the back. Pynchon had pulled Two Girls One Cup from the maw of low culture and had placed it in my precious novel. But in that immersion I also grew more comfortable with it. Someone eating shit had made its first entrance into my mind and in some way I had already began to grow comfortable with it.

I quickly found myself uninformed on the subject of poop eating. I assumed they had a fetish. I said that a fetish is something that a person sexualizes that is abnormal to standard sexual practice, but they explained to me otherwise, “a fetish is something which a person necessarily sexualizes, which they cannot achieve satisfaction without.” I was skeptical and still am skeptical on the idea of a person needing what they fetishize to achieve sexual satisfaction, but I do think that my original assumption of what a fetish should be was wrong. It did lead me further into the inquiry of the difference between fetishes and kinks.

Trying to find out whether it was a fetish or kink I began searching the internet. Googling “coprophagia” or “poop eating” you’ll quickly find a wikipedia article on the subject with the quote, “In humans, coprophagia has been observed in individuals with mental illness.” This is the first line that talks about people who eat poop and it immediately associates this poop eating with mental illness, delegitimizing the act. But if one reads close it’s hidden in there that the act isn’t necessarily a result of mental illness. I didn’t want this though.

I wanted to learn about Coprophagia as an action, I wanted to learn about the community around this kink, but there was nothing. As Scaruffi says in his essay Wikipedia As a Force for Evil, “the popularity of Wikipedia is de facto obliterating all the alternative sources that one could use to doublecheck Wikipedia articles.” Wikipedia becomes a source for the dominant ideology to control the base. Moving on to coprophilia, or the paraphilia of feces, we see that coprophilia is strictly defined by Wikipedia in terms of the Diagnostics and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders — once again defining the act of eating poop as a mental disorder — with the only criteria being that someone partakes in it, suggesting nothing abnormal other than a social taboo as justification.

In Foucault’s History of Sexuality Vol. 1 he presents for the first time the idea of Biopower, which is the use of a dominant system — the nation state — to use diverse techniques to subjugate the individuals, particularly through the use of ideology. In this case the ideology that we want to bring into question is the scat taboo. We must question why this taboo is in place and why we should isolate individuals who eat poop. Why do we suppress them?

Rather than thinking about things in the abstract, I wanted to just know what toiletmouth’s thoughts were. So I asked them directly, “Why do you want people to poop in your mouth?” They said, “Well the post was a joke but I mean if someone does actually want to poop in my mouth it’s something at least worth trying at least once” I thought it was ridiculous how benignly they placed themselves in relation to poop.

But it’s not. Someone should be allowed to place themselves in a casual manner to feces, just like people should be allowed to place themselves in casual relation to partners of the same sex. So I decided to ask them if it gets them off and they said, “Yeah, I mean the thought does. I don’t know if the act would which is why I’m willing to try. There is definitely an appeal to the idea of being so submissive to a person that I am literally a waste receptacle to them. There is also just the taboo nature of it. Even without the power dynamic there is something interesting about playing with something so generally considered to be dirty and private.”

In posterity I’m glad that they wanted to talk to me and that they continued talking to me for so long, especially when I was just treating them as a resource for my own gain. I am eating from the trash can all the time, but now maybe, I can eat shit instead. I am free to dream of shit swirling in my mouth, like a delicious cocktail.

Moving along, I asked them if they had ever tried shit or if this would be their first time, I also asked them if they were afraid of vomiting, “I have tried poop, I don’t think that’s a guarantee against vomiting though. I don’t think there would necessarily be a problem with vomiting, I mean a person is already pooping in my mouth. How much different is it from rimming? I mean I’ve eaten ass that isn’t clean before and if anything it was more hot than if they were clean.” At this point I was feeling more comfortable with talking to them finding that they were so willing to just spill the beans. I continued pestering them, pushing them harder. I asked four consecutive questions in a row on the tiny screen I hastily typed on, “Do you have any fetishes? Are you in Kink Positive? Are you just really into submission? What is your gender?” I had to know, but out of nowhere toiletmouth turned my questioning back against me, “Your aggressive questioning makes me not want to talk to you.” This was the point that the glass had shattered. This whole time I had believed toiletmouth to be the sicko, the vile creature, but it was me, I had overbearingly pushed myself into their life, their fetish and turned it into a game for myself. I felt like a piece of shit.

They were so polite and so willing to speak to me, but I betrayed their trust by unrelentingly bombarding them with questions. I apologized, telling them I was sorry, that I was just fascinated and excited to speak to someone about this, I felt like Plato, stepping out of the cave. I made sure that they knew I wasn’t judging them and in that moment I knew I could say that in earnest. My eyes were open.

I asked them a few more questions about domination and submission, about shit in general. In the final texts I told them they should write their thesis on this, they responded with an LOL and I knew that I had made a friend in that moment. The last thing they asked was if I had any fetishes, so I responded, but today I’m still waiting for the sent in the bottom corner of the message to change to read so this conversation can continue.

https://medium.com/the-inhibitor/if-you-think-eating-shit-is-wrong-then-you-are-a-bad-person-4b1b1eb4b91

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